First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories. 

There's no other word that comes out of Male Boss' mouth that is equivalent to "I'm not listening to anything you are saying" than the word, "Yeah."

Everyone has the phrase or word that means just that or maybe you like to switch it up like I do. My words are, "Ok," "mmhmm," "Oh," and "Really./?" No one's the wiser.

Often I find myself having these cerebral exchanges with Male Boss that consist of a word or two coming out of our mouths as we have no clue what the other is saying. Its common cuz for the most part it really doesn't matter. Come time to for real deal business it gets handled by each of us cross checking our reports or what have you.

The other morning we had a rather riveting conversation regarding some changes on a report he wanted me to do. By the way, Male Boss is very vague, its not bcuz he is dumb, in fact he is very cunning. With such cunning comes the fact that he NEVER accepts blame for anything, ever, under any circumstance. He achieves this by making it someone else's fault, the more vague he is the easier it is to place blame on someone else for not following instructions, you follow? I learned this once and I will never have it burn me again.

Continuing back on track, since absolutes are his enemy I usually corner him in. He offers, "Yeah"'s about this particular client itinerary he wants changed. I keep asking him specifics and he stares at his computer hunting and pecking at his keyboard saying, "Yeah."

He has no clue what I am saying bcuz at this point I have said the exact opposite thing twice now and he still says, "Yeah." I no longer feel like testing the limits of reality at work so I close my interrogation with, "You got it, I will do it that way."

That seals the deal always, he hasn't been able to "get" me ever since I started saying that. Because he can agree to something that he has no clue but when I verify with a statement like that, the man is cooked.  His pride also stops him from clarifying with me because he would be admitting fault that he wasn't listening to begin with.  Its all office politics and semantics, the cornerstone of every successful business.

In a turn of events, Male Boss realizes he is stewing in his own juices and starts asking me questions. "Ok," I say several times, hardly listening. The phone rings, I'm off the hook before anything specific can be burped my way.

Male Boss begins examining the paperwork I "fixed." Something is amiss bcuz he starts muttering "what the fuck" to himself. Fret not friends, for I have nothing to worry about.

For the common man there is more than just one option on how to react when in Male Boss' shoes. Let's go over some problem solving basics: Logic would point to discussing with me what needs to be specifically done.  Then again, maybe Male Boss can figure it out on his own using critical thinking. Or perhaps even just setting the task aside for some other time to let the brain cells regroup from hiatus. But no, this is not the path of Male Boss. This is his path:

Bathed in genius, Male Boss vents his anger toward Female Boss, who by the way, has just arrived into the office 2 hours into the work day. At top volume, of course, Male Boss attacks:

"You fucked this computer for the last time. Its all scrambled and the grib, gr-iib, gr.. what the fuck. The fucking GRID on Excel doesn't show the right contacts and phone numbers! Fix it, cuz I'm tired of you wasting my money on your foie gras dinners."

Yeah.. I have no clue either.

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