First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

With the California Fires in the news, there isn't a hotter topic than this one when it comes to punnery for Female Boss. Over the past few days the fires have been making every cable news channel and every local re-reporting news show. Re-reporting? Yeah its what local news channels do. They don't ask questions, they don't challenge, they don't dig, they don't verify, they don't investigate, they don't even report. They take someone else's work and regurgitate it like an owl. Then idiots, like yourself possibly, listen to it and take it as news and/or fact. Re-reporting, there ya go. The laziest occupation in the esteemed community of careers. Fuck em all.

Off the rant and on with the show of mental prowess by Female Boss. Again, Female Boss is calling friends, talking about the fires.. making a huge hub-bub over the whole ordeal when literally I think two structures were destroyed and one happened to be a detached garage. Clearly, covering fires raging in uninhabited parts of California is riveting. "Red Flag Warnings" and "Fire Watch 2005." What a bunch of asshats.

Sorry, sorry. Female Boss is going nuts on these phone calls. Being that she is an empath, she coughs and complains that she smells smoke and can't breathe too well. We have a few problems with this from the start:

1) The fires are far away.
2) You can't smell any smoke.
3) There isn't even ash falling in the area.

So yeah, there you have it. She's in complete duress and making sure to dump her feelings on everyone willing to be dragged down with her. I guess pity loves company yet a single brain cell cannibalizes all others until it is king.

Now that you see the irrelevance of her behavior lets get to the analogy. Like the last Master of Analogy post, we are busy. Except this time, Female Boss is so overrun with emotion and stress she isn't helping. I could be mistaken but I don't recall "paralysis" as being a habit of Highly Effective People. For about 20 minutes the phone is non-stop ringing, multiple lines. I am picking up one, putting another on hold, speaking to Female Boss over my shoulder who is on the line and wishing to speak with her.

Female Boss is in a panic. I know this bcuz when she is, her face turns white and her eyes bulge like Smeagol. That photo is about right except her wang is longer. Every time its for her she tells me to take down their number and she'll call them back. Every single one. In the end, not one phone call is taken by her. I would have to put the number of phone calls close to a dozen and a half in about 20 min. Not very fun.

So when the storm dies down, this idiot blesses me with this one:

"Goodness. I can't believe how busy it just was on the phones! It feels like I'm putting out a fire every minute in here!"

I call shenanigans! This asshole didn't lift a fuckin finger and she's talking like she was helping. Can this even qualify as an analogy? Isn't this more like a bombastic lie wrought from the failed mind of a lazy whore!? Angry Time says, "Yes."

Have a good one fellas.

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