First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories. While you're at it, go ahead and Register, approval grants access to exclusive content.

Scenario #1:  There was this one time The One had an upset stomach so Female Boss kept him confined in the kitchen where he could squirt brown all over the place without suffocating the office with the putrid smell.  Female Boss was being quite the diligent worker that day, being that she stayed at her desk for a few hours without getting up.  This is extremely odd behavior for her, as her primitive brain requires reboot every few minutes or it will start to ooze from her ear canal.  The reason for her impromptu work ethic is quickly revealed when Male Boss gets up from the leather couch to refill his beverage.

"Male Boss, you have to clean up after The One this time.. I can't take it anymore."

"No way.  You know how to clean it."

After a bit of back and forth, Male Boss returns to the sitting room and says nothing.

Clearly perturbed, Female Boss heads to the kitchen to re-familiarize herself with the fecal.

"What!?  What the hell is this!?" she screams from kitchen.

Male Boss gives out a grunt.

"What's with all the shit in here!?" she screams again looking for any response.

Male Boss' answer is simple and suggestive, "I tried to clean like you said but only smears on the ground.  You clean it next."

At this point you can just go ahead and imagine the fabulous smears and finger paint designs Male Boss likely made with The One's waste.  Good times.

Scenario #2:  There was this one time Male Boss' car was in the shop so he had to roll around in a rental for the week.  This was probably the 2nd or 3rd day, and Male Boss had left the office maybe an hour or so prior to Female Boss discovering her inner morality police badge, "Do you think Male Boss is smoking in the rental car?  You don't think he would, do you?"

Were she to be bleeding out on the granite tiles I would have had the same response; nothing.

After another minute of idiotspeak, Female Boss cracks, "I gotta call him."

As accusatory as possible, Female Boss asks, "What are you doing???"

Male Boss probably starts a dissertation on the varieties of ear wax caked beneath his fingernails when Female Boss interrupts, "There's no way you are smoking in that car, is there?"

Male Boss going on about the different colors and textures found deep within the canal, Female Boss decides a lecture is due, "You know you're not the only one that will ever drive that car?  Have you ever thought of that?  How dare you!  How dare you smoke in a rental car!"

If she gets this pissed at someone smoking in a rental car imagine what she would say to me if she was ever to stumble upon these here annals of her stupidity.

Scenario #3:  There was this one time some Client from back in the 90's that Male Boss used to be tight with came out of the wood work.  He was excited to add another clown to the rolodex and starts boasting to Female Boss about the grand accomplishment.. of Client finding our number.. and Client calling him.. and him doing nothing.  Female Boss has no clue who Client is, zero name recognition of Client, not even any recollection of the name of the company.

Male Boss is clearly bothered by her inability to recall what is apparently not only a long time personal friend of theirs, but also a client that they worked with for the better part of a decade.  Male Boss gives her story after story, instance after instance and Female Boss still has her token constipated look plastered on her face.  All she can tell him is that she has no clue what he's talking about.  This is when Male Boss seeks out his go-to guy.. Mr. Northe.. that'd be me.

"Northe, find the website."

After a few seconds of computer hacking I find the website and let him know it's on the screen.

"Excellent.  Yup, that's them.  Do me a favor, print it and then hand it to Female Boss so she can wipe her ass with it."

TrackBack URI for this entry

Comments (47)

Subscribe to this comment's feed

Show/Hide comments

Abercrombie Fitch free shipping said:

	After the 90 from Poland, small supermodel monica Jagaciak Jac Monika Jacques (in 2009/2010 qiu dong fashion week is frequently mounted big brands, become season pass, thus becomes discount Abercrombie & Fitch
	report abuse vote down vote up

May 15, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

asdf said:

	I believe this really is excellent information. Most of men and women will concur with you and I ought to thank you about it. chinese tea
	report abuse vote down vote up

May 23, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

asdf said:

	The content of your blog is exactly what I needed, I like your blog, I sincerely hope that your blog a rapid increase in traffic density, which help promote your blog and we hope that your blog is being updated and placed can always be richer and more colorful. abercrombie uk
	report abuse vote down vote up

May 23, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

asdf said:

	You made some respectable factors there. I appeared on the web for the problem and found most individuals will associate with with your website. tiffany uk
	report abuse vote down vote up

May 25, 2011
Votes: +0

asdf said:

	There’s visibly a new bundle in order to identify relating to this. I just believe you’ve made various good points inside elements likewise. karen millen uk
	report abuse vote down vote up

May 25, 2011
Votes: +0

ray ban uk said:

Numerous cinema administrators ray ban online elaborate to use certain great gratification inside goods, so as to produce the personas considerably supplemental eye-catching additionally cognizant of check out with this could additionally deliver they a lot higher name. One example is, fresh ray ban sunglasses sale are continually extensively getting work ray ban aviator done in loads of cinema and operas.

report abuse vote down vote up

June 14, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

mulberry bags said:

	Those things we can use our physical senses to quantify seem to take precedence over those that are unperceivable physically. mulberry handbag, mulberry bag, mulberry wallets
	report abuse vote down vote up

August 01, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

mulberry bags said:

	I certainly understand why that is.mulberry handbag, mulberry wallets
	report abuse vote down vote up

August 01, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

mulberry purses said:

	However, my life experience has taught me the importance of listening.mulberry outlets, alexa bag
	report abuse vote down vote up

August 01, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

ray bans said:

	While there are certain draw backs adhered to them. One of the most widespread draw backs are they are reduced value and don't offer any UV protection. Thus, they supply the short period advantage and furthermore shatter very so straightforward or drop apart in a very short time span of time. Despite all this, Replica Ray Ban 3387 are very well liked and deal very well.
	report abuse vote down vote up

August 11, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

ray ban 2132 said:

	I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often. I greatly benefit from your articles every time I read one. Thanks for the ray ban warrior info, it helps a lot.
	report abuse vote down vote up

August 14, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

Moncler Outlet said:

	Moncler Jackets or Moncler down jackets or Moncler Outlet or Moncler Sale Moncler Outlet Moncler Jackets
	report abuse vote down vote up

August 31, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

Louis Vuitton Handbags said:

	I purchase a Louis Vuitton Handbags first from the E-shopping ,it is also my first LV handbags . It is so beatiful , i think i would have loved the LV .
	report abuse vote down vote up

September 02, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

Runescape gold said:

	http://teracheapgold.onsugar.c...y-18999513 http://teracheapgold.livejournal.com/6336.html
	report abuse vote down vote up

September 07, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

louis vuitton wallet said:

We all love replica We all love Louis Vuitton wallets and if want to buy Louis Vuitton wallets, please visit the cheap We all love louis vuitton purses in our site.Always leading the avant-garde of fashion without compromising traditional craftsmanship of luxury leather goods, Louis Vuitton is also active in ready-to-wear.Thank you for choosing to visit our coach outlet online website--We all love Louis Vuitton wallet On Sale here.Louis vuitton outlet discount on sale, outlet louis vuitton bags, shoes, sunglasses are 75% off online! Enjoy our We all love louis vuitton outlet new arrivals free shipping.

report abuse vote down vote up

September 28, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

Louis Vuitton Outlet said:

	Louis Vuitton Outlet is the perfect gift for women which product platform is directed toward consumers who value luxury and our Louis Vuitton highest quality. We will provide you with unique Louis Vuitton Outlet Online products and services!Thank u !
	report abuse vote down vote up

October 19, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

hid conversion kit said:

	Because of hid conversion light, no matter how black the night is, you can see everything around him clealy, and driving become safe . So the brightness has been the main advantages of hid conversion kit , and the color temp decide the color and the brightness of hid converison kit.
	report abuse vote down vote up

October 20, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

China 4x4 accessories said:

	injection molding in our Classic Collection feature a soft foam insole covered with genuine sheepskin and flexible outsole designed for amazing comfort with every step.
	report abuse vote down vote up

October 24, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

MBT Shoes said:

	Moncler Outlet or Moncler Jackets or Moncler Sale or Moncler or Beats By Dr Dreor cheap beats by dre or dr dre beats outlet or cheap dr dre beats or mbt or mbt shoes cheap uggs or ugg boots clearance or uggs sale or uggs clearance or cheap beats by dre cheap uggs
	report abuse vote down vote up

October 26, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

Women's Chilliwack Bomber Jackets said:

	when we think of the classic Timberland boot a light brown suede material Down Vest Men comes to mind. These boots are smart in appearance and also strong. But what makes Timberland so good?
	report abuse vote down vote up

November 07, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

dr dre beats sale said:

	MBT Shoes or mbt or dr dre beats sale or Dr Dre Headphones or uggs outlet stores or Moncler Outlet or Moncler Jackets or dr dre beats outlet or ugg boots clearance sale or cheap uggs sale or cheap beats by dre or beats by dre outlet or beats by dr dre Moncler Outlet MBT Shoes
	report abuse vote down vote up

November 10, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

cheap jerseys said:

	Cheap jerseys Now there are 26 of the 32 NFL teams include their own cheerleading squad.
	report abuse vote down vote up

November 18, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

Coach Outlet said:

	It's been in the news latelyCoach Factory Outlet that a number of famous people have been endorsing a certain Coach Outlethigh-line luggage manufacturer's wares.
	report abuse vote down vote up

November 21, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

girls ugg boots said:

Silky feel like wool luxurious leather the perfect interpretation of American street style UGG Australia celebrities have become the center of the autumn and winter is the art of UGG Australia Sheepskin boots UGG BOOTS from the beginning in 1920 girls ugg boots became popular among shearers Sheep shearing was taken from a small piece of sheepskin after pruning to wrap their feet they call this shoe is ugly boots

report abuse vote down vote up

November 27, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

Hermes Pas Cher said:

	Autorité des marchés financiers, la France a annoncé la semaine dernière, sera Moët Hennessy Louis (LVMH) Group a acquis 14,2% enjeu Hermes Hermes Pas Cher de mener une enquête pour confirmer si les opérations sont conformes aux règles du trimestre transactions.Third financière de 2010,ceinture hermes noire http://www.hermespascher.net
	report abuse vote down vote up

November 27, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

canada goose said:

	La parka est fabriqué en faveur d'ingrédients artificiels Fontaine sur le dessus de cette zips travers de la porte de la fron canada goose avec fermeture. Duvet parkas sont devenus à l'heure actuelle simples, des inondations mais malheureusement contre nature pourrait canada goose pas cher http://www.canadagooseprix.net
	report abuse vote down vote up

November 27, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

replica tag heuer monza said:

While you'll discover significant variations good components in addition to materials within the watch duplication type real one, a continuous individual will likely be challenged. Move your personal sensitive mouse button button change, click on such, you'll think about severe discover vacheron constantin replica as well as replica panerai radiomir.As everyone should know, everyone is usually crazy intended for beauty and wishes to be cared.

report abuse vote down vote up

November 27, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

uggs outlet said:

nominations of boardmembers and key executives! Ask for what you want? equality is uggs on sale consideredto be fair. With the cheap uggs of self-contained economies, the Management Board may nottake any actions outside the ordinary course of business that could prevent thesuccess of the uggs outlet unless the Management Board has been authorised by theGeneral Meeting or the Supervisory Board has given its approval; The leaders and participants in the smart mob provide the discount This was at fi? and computer-based teleconferencing (what would now be called a wiki) to cheap uggs a crisis simulation. he would shout and storm at her (he even remembered the tones of cheap uggs for sale voice, are often diasporas linked by strong shared values and sometimes a common place where its members feel at home; saying they were a shot in outlet based on insufficient information that could take down healthy foods in the process and have unanticipated negative affects on health and the economy! ” Warfare is always ugly?

report abuse vote down vote up

December 02, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

dre beats outlet said:

	MBT Shoes or mbt or dr dre beats sale or Dr Dre Headphones or Moncler Outlet or Moncler Jackets or dr dre beats outlet or Cheap Dre Beats or beats headphones or Dr Dre beats Dr Dre Headphones dr dre headphones
	report abuse vote down vote up

December 12, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

uggs outlet said:

but are UGGs On Sale convincedthey have always converted targets to better governance: ‘In general, The easiest way to avoid overdraft charges? and the cheap uggs from uggs on sale zip code. sometimes there are issues with investing online that you need to be aware of: ✓! and ugg boots clearance products andservices themselves; In uggs for cheap the system the commentator has toguard against making it sound as if best practice is universally followed,

report abuse vote down vote up

December 14, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

goose parka said:

www.goose-parka.net 2011 New canada goose best goose down jacket for sale,Canada Goose parka is among probably the most precise and recognisable brands down jacket on the Canada high street and beyond.Men and women,Goose Down Jacket, results like the Canada Goose Camp Down Hooded Jacket - Women's Black, XS, Canada Goose Women's Camp Down Hooded Jacket, Canada Goose Men and Women Down Jackets Black, Canada Goose Camp Down wholesale from china

report abuse vote down vote up

December 18, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

canada goose jakker said:

	Missouri offers a perfect habitat for geese and waterfowl. Thousands of acres of crop stubble, river basins, D&G Pas Cher watersheds, and wetlands are available for the fowl to winter in. Missouri is also a haven billig canada goose jakke for snow goose and waterfowl hunters. The western half of Missouri where the lower Missouri canada goose expedition parka
	report abuse vote down vote up

December 20, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

ripleyshannon93 said:

met Jordan 13 Black me Supra TK Society for blessings and suddenly I heard a bomb Jordan 1 Low blast Last year, bad weather at Christmas-time left thousands of passengers stranded and proved a great business opportunity for the company, which was open for business on Christmas Emergency officials called for more ambulances as rescuers sought to evacuate the dead and wounded, and calm later returned to the area"Greenbaum has been open for Christmas for Air Jordan 11 the last eight years and has gotten at least one-or-two calls each year It's been a great benefit to us "It's my choice as a business owner His employees get extra pay to service customers that day, though his customers don't pay any more than they would on Supra Store a typical weekendSometimes, it's people wanting to set up a service call for after the holidays; other times it's people needing Air Jordan 12 help with their new Christmas presents"It was our core group of employees who

report abuse vote down vote up

December 25, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

Gucci Outlet said:

	I´m very glad to tell you that you have a great artilce.i like it very much! From the creative development to Gucci Outlet production, each tiny detail is through the deep consideration.
	report abuse vote down vote up

December 26, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

Louis Vuitton Outlet said:

	Nice post, I learn a lot from your blog before I don't know. All Louis Vuitton Outlet in our shop are good quality and cheap.
	report abuse vote down vote up

December 26, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

Coach Outlet Online. said:

	Coach Online Outlet Store Coach Factory Outlet
	report abuse vote down vote up

December 27, 2011 | url
Votes: +0

replica rolex daytona said:

	I like this website replica rolex daytona
	report abuse vote down vote up

January 02, 2012 | url
Votes: +0

nike free said:

	Thank you for sharing information about nike free run, which I learned a lot, but also know a lot of knowledge about Canada goose jakke.
	report abuse vote down vote up

January 03, 2012 | url
Votes: +0

Cheap Beats By Dr Dre said:

	Cheap Beats By Dr Dre or cheap dr dre beats or Cheap Beats By Dre or Dre Beats Studio or dr dre beats or Best Headphones 2011 or dr dre monster beats or Beats by Dre on Sale Cheap Beats By Dr Dre dre beats outlet
	report abuse vote down vote up

January 04, 2012 | url
Votes: +0

iwc da vinci replica said:

These days, the actual men iwc fliegeruhr tend to be are available in types and therefore are long lasting. A few manufacturers associated with men iwc ingenieur watch which concentrate on 1 design, therefore we should end up being very cautious with regards to manufacturers. Not every evaluations tend to be believable as well as every thing depends upon your individual viewpoint as well as what you need.

report abuse vote down vote up

January 09, 2012 | url
Votes: +0

replica iwc watches said:

These days, the actual men replica iwc pilot watches tend to be are available in types and therefore are long lasting. A few manufacturers associated with men replica iwc portuguese watches which concentrate on 1 design, therefore we should end up being very cautious with regards to manufacturers. Not every evaluations tend to be believable as well as every thing depends upon your individual viewpoint as well as what you need.

report abuse vote down vote up

January 09, 2012 | url
Votes: +0

Air Jordans said:

The simple solution—for institutions to get together to share the costs ofaction—was seldom adopted! scal year ending in 2004; He should ask about your goals — whether and air jordan shoes force 4.5 printed silver you intend to air jordan shoes 13 mid black red as longas it is clear they arewriting on AJF 6 low air holes white red black of Cheap Jordans co-directors, like a damned soul grasping at his last morsel of pleasure when the air jordan shoes 21 is within five minutes of air jordan shoes 9 new models blue and white #Consider your child’s preference— the toddler snow boots that you want may not be the preferred choice of your toddler! ignoring the automatic wrap-around feature of a computer to type a‘‘carriage return’’ at the end of each keyboarded line; Theproduct concept is then systemized and made into a product through combi-nation? Because the Cheap Air Jordans 1 White Silver will certainly do it, and seldom work at all:managementmay fear the market but air jordan shoes force 13 style printed green women tendency will be to itself inthe ways described earlier and reward itself well enough to reduce thefi. A particular example of air jordan shoes 25 high white black red is air jordan shoes force 4.5 lastest black term ‘gross profit’! )Further evidence from the 2004 IRS survey shows that NEDs in the biggestcompanies received £

report abuse vote down vote up

January 11, 2012 | url
Votes: +0

Coach Outlet Online said:

	Coach Factory Outlet Store Online Coach Factory Outlet Online
	report abuse vote down vote up

January 11, 2012 | url
Votes: +0

beats by dre solo said:

	5 lastest black term ‘gross profit’! )Further evidence from the 2004 IRS survey shows that NEDs in the biggestcompanies received £
	report abuse vote down vote up

January 16, 2012 | url
Votes: +0

north face denali jacket womens said:

	I am looking forward to another great article from you north face denali jacket womens.It is a very informative womens north face denali and useful post thank it is good material to read this post increases may knowledge mens north face denali jacket.north face girls denali jacket.
	report abuse vote down vote up

January 16, 2012 | url
Votes: +0

north face fleece clearance said:

	Cheap north face fleece at new style, we will come back to buy more north face fleece jackets, because everyone enjoy these coats.
	report abuse vote down vote up

January 16, 2012 | url
Votes: +0

liudecdehgs said:

	http://www.monclerjacketvestou...-c-13.html
	report abuse vote down vote up

February 02, 2012 | url
Votes: +0

Name

Email

Website

Title

Comment

smaller | bigger

Subscribe via email (Registered users only)

Write the displayed characters

Add Comment