A Brush With Death!

First Timers

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Who shived you in the neck?

Blogger Profile: The name's Northe.
Been blogging since: September 2004.
View my complete profile here.

My Best Work According To You

Latest 10 Stories

Login Form

Angry Time Suggests:

Commissioner Phelps

Being Mexican: A How To

Jenn Will Hurt You

Angry Time Gift Ideas:

Angry Time Sand Box:

Entertainment in Flash Form

Home

Angry Time

Stories

A Brush With Death!

Written by Northe

Thursday, 30 August 2007 17:38

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories. While you're at it, go ahead and Register, approval grants access to exclusive content.

So I'm driving down the freeway the other day with the windows rolled up and the A/C humming so that my intake of stupidity is pretty minimal. You see, this is a common concern of mine.. the inhaling of toxins and fumes that people with low IQ have been scientifically proven to emit, but the gas is not really like smoke. It is my belief that smoke, smog and the like that our cappuccino skies offer only make my lungs stronger.. but taking in any amount of dumb from people, that God knows where they've been or what manner of pathetic public education they have been subjected to, just creeps me out.

So while driving in my steel cage that insulates me from the engulfing infection of idiocy that surrounds me I get to see some classic smarts at work. Now, I am not a fast driver, I tend to coast around the speed limit or 5mph over.. steady as she goes. I am passing a car that if I saw in my kitchen I would have mistaken for an egg.. then it happens.

The truck in front of me, a typical Mexican immigrant hauling system strapped with roughly 14 items too many and stacked up about 6 feet higher than a highway underpass, lets fly a plastic bag that was covering some sort of trinket. I am about 200 feet behind this guy and right along side the egg. Plastic bag takes flight and swoops over to the egg's lane. The egg slams its breaks, I kid you not. We went from neck and neck to me seeing him in my rear view about 150 feet back in 2-3 secs. The plastic bag found its target and latched on to its prey.

Now I am sure you are thinking that maybe the bag got caught on this fruit's windshield wiper or something. Nope. No. It was caught underneath the front bumper. Now okay, benefit of the doubt time. Maybe this fuckin idiot got scared and his cat-like reflexes that scream out flight in today's gene pool laden with way too many pussies took over and made this guy fear the plastic bag as if it was a jackknifed 18 wheeler careening across the freeway, but no. Instead of mentally moving past the initial fear that a bag fashioned from dangerously dense plastic the guy continues to slow and slow and slow. Before I know it cars are slowing down behind me and this guy is becoming a speck on my mirror. The egg stayed in sight for about a minute or two and then vanished as I took a slight bank to the right on the freeway.

So no, there was no logical response to this. There was no reactionary prowess to be discussed here. No mental acumen, no cautionary take, not even worthy of a gold star from a kindergarten teacher. This was just 100% retardation. The best part is the jackholes behind me are the ones that will suffer in traffic for an extra 15 minutes due to this guy's irrational behavior. This is one of the reasons that traffic is so insane. You put a fair amount of stupid people on the road and there are gonna be plenty of problems. You put a shit ton of stupid people on the road and you have the Los Angeles traffic. I don't need to say anymore than that.

Set as favorite

Bookmark

Email This

Trackback(0)

TrackBack URI for this entry