Vegas: Poolside

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Blogger Profile: The name's Northe.
Been blogging since: September 2004.
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Angry Time wasn't over quite yet for the morning. With three daiquiris working their way through my system I wanted to get another. I perk my curious noggin up and that damn drink lady wasn't in sight. I have to go to the bar which is two pools away. Fuck! So, I get up and start heading over to the bar.

Hmm, that's curious, I think to myself as each step I take leaves a layer of skin melted on the deck of the pool area. Well shit, ain't this a daisy, I think to myself as I know stopping will only result in my feet permanently stuck to the concrete. By this time of the day there are now hundreds of people out here and if there's anything a prick like me with alcohol in his system can't do is I can't look like a bitch, not now! I press on, in excruciating pain, and I finally spy a puddle of water. I reach the water, my feet have never felt so good. I stand in it for about 2 minutes completely cooling my feet. Ok idiot, you gotta move.. people are starting to notice. I muster up the courage to charge for the bar as I am within about 50 feet.

Just go and don't stop, quick like a bunny! The first step I take is roughly 14 times worse than the last step I took. I hold back the urge to scream like a stuck pig and make it to the shade of the bar. The shade didn't even feel good. I broad jump at least 38 feet onto the damp carpet and just stand there. The bartender asked me what I wanted twice before I even acknowledged him.

I order another daiquiri. I think after the first one I ordered he kinda scoffed at me. This time he insulted me and put a fuckin cherry in my drink. I plucked it out of my drink and wrapped his dollar tip around the cherry and placed it back on the drink counter. I walked away with a macho spring in my step while sucking down my slurpee.

FUCK!!!

I gotta walk back! I honestly think if I looked at my feet they would have been sloughing skin. They were likely burnt to either a roasted red hue or a golden brown, either way I wanted to shove the straw in my drink thru my ear and into my brain. I leaped like a gazelle from puddle to puddle, into the first pool, over to shade, onto unoccupied chairs, waved at hot chicks and smiled through the excruciating agony, all the while screaming every bad word and phrase I could think of in my head.

After all this, I was only half way back to my chair, standing on the opposite side of the pool that I was seated near. I still had to make it to the other side. So I waded into the pool with drink in hand and crossed that shit as if I was Moses himself. Lifeguards blew whistles and screamed at me as the thought of my red beverage would taint their blend of sweat, feces, urine and that filmy layer of sun tan lotion that they refer to as "the pool."

I ignored the jeers and made it to the other end and where my chair was without talking any shit back. I was pretty proud of myself. I definitely woulda been kicked out and I had a drink to enjoy, the alcohol made me keep my mouth shut and worked out nicely.

My pride quickly turns back to the pain in my feet. I am pretty sure I bloodied up the pool with my mangled feet but screw it. I returned to my chair greeted by laughter from the couple to my right. They totally saw me dying and took pleasure in my pain. What can I do? I was a total fool. I took a seat and looked down through the vinyl ribbons of the chair, I shall never leave you again, I said to my flip flops that I brought out by the pool for that very reason. Well done Northe, well done.

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