First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

We all have that helpless feeling from time to time.  You know it, when you want assistance or you're just plain needy.  Maybe when you're sick.  There was nothing better than when you were a kid, mom would come in and hook you up with some hot soup or whatever.  It was just the good shit.  When you needed something and it was done, it was that much sweeter.

Now we're all older and maybe its nice when you have some shit around the house that needs doing and a friend helps you with it.  Anything, at all.  Even when someone looks out and picks you up a meal from Taco Bell.  Its the good shit.. the hook up.

I realize this is a stretch when it comes to the typical but its the hill Male Boss decided to die on this day.  Me?  I'd have chosen another hill to die on when exhibiting the utmost of baby, helpless behavior.  I think it was his tone and whining that really made the nails rake the chalk board.  It went something like this:

Its nearing the end of the day, a Friday, Male Boss is getting ready to go out clubbing.  Need I reiterate Male Boss' age?  Sorry idiot, scroll up!  Go read The Primer at the top of the page.  You aren't listening.  Yeah, he doesn't need to be going to a club at his age.  Its just not right.

Back on track, Male Boss' friend is gonna be there at about 7pm to pick him up for dinner.  Male Boss is using him as his designated driver.  Sounds like its gonna be a good night.

"Female Boss, would you mind helping me?" Male Boss comes in with already that whining voice.

"What!?" says Female Boss pissed off.

"I went outside and the car is still in the street, can you bring it on the driveway for me?"

Already irate from who knows what, "Fuck you.  I'm not doing anything for you!"

"Yes you could."

"You have the fucking keys, go outside and do it your fucking self!"

Sidebar: Have I mentioned that my vocabulary has shot to the high school cursing level bigtime since starting to work here?

"Come on, please.  I am in need of the help."

"You don't need my fucking help, you need to stop being a lazy piece of shit."

"Come on.. I have to make two maneuvers to get the car into the driveway!  I don't want to,"

Easy there Bitchy Bitch, my ears could have bled with the screechy complaining coming from Male Boss at this point.  Can I just tell you we are in a residential neighborhood that is 99% traffic free on the street.  The driveway is all of 10 feet.  There is ample room on the street to make a 2-point turn to turn the car around if not even just back the shit up into it.  Something about a lazy guy, especially when its something retarded like that, especially when you are getting ready to go out and charge on a Friday night to a club!  Don't start the baby bullshit then, do it on a Monday when I can empathize.  Fruitcake.

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