First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

I came in this morning, to my surprise, Female Boss is there before me and actually hard at work.  I say good morning to her and take a seat at my desk.  If this sets the tone for the day then I'll be in good shape.  Maybe I'll get a lot accomplished and maybe, just maybe, have what most of you would consider a normal day.  No sooner than that thought finished passing through my head does Female Boss come with her patented material.

"Hey, Northe?" she asks.

"Yeah."

"Do you find it obnoxious or is it just me?"

"What's that?" I ask.

"I dunno," she trails off.

Queue the awkward silence.  That sinking feeling in my gut starts up and tells me, today is no different than any other, just that Female Boss got into work earlier than you.  To my surprise, the work day is going fairly well aside from the irrelevant conversation had that morning.  It didn't turn out terrible, more like something that everyone can laugh at:

Female Boss goes to get Puppy from her whining state outside.  She holds her in her arms and says, "Hi precious.  Precious, precious."

Then it goes to a level I would have never expected.  She starts imitating Gollum from Lord of the Rings.  

"Myyy Preciooouusssssss."

She keeps repeating it.  It was actually kinda funny.  For once, a little humor without having to laugh at her mockingly.  Well done.  Sigh, what is she doing?  Oh, great.

Since I found it funny, then surely, everyone should know how funny she is!  Why must people seek acceptance from people that care less?  Anyhoo, Female Boss picks up the cordless and starts dialing away.  She's not even setting up the scene appropriately.  She just starts saying "My precious," and only half the time tells them that she is caressing Puppy while saying it.  It's absurd!  Most of her friends don't know why its a) funny or b) what movie it is from.  Come to find out, neither does Female Boss.  What ended up flooring me in laughter was the question she asked one of her friends:

"Myyy Preciooouusssssss.  Hahah yeah, didn't a muppet say that?"

Hahaha.  Oh, man.

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