First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

In my business, we deal with a lot of foreigners.  Companies that shell out the big bucks for seminars from overseas lecturers and/or business moguls use us to show these people around town or show them fun, happening places to go or relax.  A lot of the time I deal with people that aren't the best english speakers let alone have a grasp on the language to the degree of using correct sentence structure.  If you never look at someone's faults as something to laugh at, you take life too seriously.

Honestly, in what other country in the world can you not read, write or speak the language anywhere in the sphere of "properly" and still make upwards of 6-digit salaries than in the States?  I have received so many faxes with people using made up words to try to communicate what they want.

A couple recent ones:

Egen = Agent
Re pourd = Report
Trabil = Travel

Male Boss is no better and I realize this but that's never stopped me from declaring idiocy when I see it.  Now, as heart-stopping as it may be, this tale does not revolve around Male Boss nor some immigrant worker trying to make accommodations for his compatriot.  It involves Female Boss.

Female Boss is on the phone taking down some specifics for a company we deal with that originates in Chile.  They fly out a few clients a year that do their thing and go back home.  The people at the office don't have difficult accents by any means, I would actually say that the lion's share of our foreign clients can't compete with these fellas when it comes to speaking english clearly.

I catch the conversation toward its end, "Oh, so you are a new hire?  How do you like it there? <pause>  Great, great.  Well yes, we look forward to helping you as well.  We have worked with your company for years so it will be a great experience and opportunity for you.  Uh huh, sure.  And what's your name?"

Here we go.

"What?" asks Female Boss.

"Tegusto One?  Is that some sort of nickname, I have never heard of anything like that?  <pause> Who?  That doesn't make any sense, how do you figure that has to do with religion?  <pause>  Ohhh!  I thought you said your name was Tegusto One!"

Female Boss is cracking up.  Turns out the guys name was Jesus (Haysus).  Female Boss hears the name "Tegusto One."  What in the fuckin hell!?  I suppose the better question would be, how can one lacking such mental ability run a million dollar a year company?  How!?

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